On Call: I Need More

I am 31 years old and have been attending the same church for my entire life. My father is a bishop and the pastor. Although there are many aspects of the ministry that I love, I am not getting the spiritual nourishment that I need. It's not that what my father is preaching is wrong, but it is just so predictable. The only thing different about the messages that he preaches now and when I was growing up is the date on the cd or dvd. How do I tell my father that I am going to look for another church without him taking it personal? Obviously, someone is getting what they need from his preaching and teaching or else the church would be empty. I just need more! In my situation, is conflict unavoidable?


I Need More - in TX

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Dear I Need More, 
It's pretty safe to assume that some level of conflict is unavoidable. However, don't fret. One definition for conflict is simply a disagreement. While the situation you find yourself in could potentially excalate beyond a simple disagreement, be careful not to approach him with a defensive attitude. Its better to handle this with humility and sensitivity. For many parents who also happen to be pastors to their children, over time the two become so intertwined that they can't clearly distinguish the difference. It is important that your father is clear that in finding a new church home that better suites your spiritual needs that it doesnt mean that he has lost your respect or support. Ecc. 3:1 says To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Those times and seasons are not set but us, our parents, or anyone else.

Employ the prayers of your father as you embark upon this new spiritual journey. Because you go in a spirit of meekness and humility, if by chance your leaving the church is a mistake, you will have left in such a way that should make returning fairly easy. In the end there is no way to fully know how he will respond or react to your decision or this conversation. However, you still have a personal responsibility to follow what you believe you are being lead to do. To stay for any other reason besides the fact that YOU believe you are supposed to be there will ultimately not be enough (in the long run) to keep you there. If the truth be told, a portion of the people at your father's church probably came from or grew up in some one else's church. He, no doubt, came from another ministry to lead or create this one. That said, he would have no church without people who responded to their spirit's cry for something more than what they were getting. Continue to be there for your father and pray for him, but do what needs to be done.